Friday, January 9, 2015

Alien Found and Eaten in Russia

A fishing crew stunned Russian investigators when the captain revealed the bizarre sea creature they caught, documented and reported to Russian authorities was the tastiest meal he ever had.
Russia's White Sea
After a storm stirred the depths of the frigid waters of the White Sea, the crew hauled up something in their nets with a tapered head complete with eyes, nose as well as gills. The body, composed of stingray-like skin, arms, legs and a long tail. Upon using a cell phone camera to record the 170-pound creature making human like noises and gestures, it was decided the sailors would dispose of the creature. Rather than throwing it back into the sea, they cooked it and ate it. One of the men said "it was greatest meat dish he had ever tasted." Another sailor explained "the flavor was not seafood but close to cobra snake meat in texture."

Russian authorities confiscated the cell phone but not before footage fell into the hands of a few rogue reporters employed by the state run news channels. The original story, as it ran on Russian television, reported a new species of fish was found in the sea.

A Russian alien autopsy. Not the actual specimen.
The crew of the vessel were detained for approximately 120 hours to ensure all fecal matter from their feast could be acquired. DNA analysis of the crew's collected stool samples revealed the sailors to have had not ingested seafood. Further analysis showed the proteins were not of an Earth-borne nature and possibly hundreds of years old. Scientific researchers who have received the classified footage and analysis agree that this ordeal was a waste of a one of a kind opportunity to prove that we are not alone.

"Many legends and fairy tales regarding Mermaids living in the White Sea have never been confirmed through our research," explains Veniamin Uvarov of the Anomalous Phenomena Society. "We cannot, however, disregard the possibility of unknown lifeforms within the White Sea."

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