Thursday, June 19, 2014

Ignorant TV

I grew up watching TV, a lot of TV. The television was my window to a world outside of the small town life that I knew as a kid. Around the time the shows like Cops made their debut, it seems that ignorant people were given their fifteen minutes of classy fame and it would seem that the ratings thrived on thos classy people comping out of the woodwork. It seemed to me that shows like Jerry Springer tapped into the crowd from Cops. Teasers seemed to go like "Hillbillies, ghetto rats, rednecks, neo nazi trannies, and real people collide NEXT EPISODE!!!"

Why exactly do people go on Jerry Springer and act as if they had no clue why they were there? Usually there is an ignorant person on the stage, telling the audience and Jerry how wonderful their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife is and we all know what's going to happen. Why are they there? Why do they think their spouse is there? Do they think they are there to propose? It's Jerry Springer, not Jenny Jones. You do not go on Jerry Springer for a Wedding Day make over. If you're on Maury, you're there for a paternity test. Come on dumbass, wake up and smell the BoBo!!! That would be Brut Over Body Odor.

The people on Cops really aggravate me. Having been a hustler, I have met my share of dumb johns, hustlers and hookers with absolutely no common sense. I guess I either learned from the best or I really lucked out in regards to my dealings with cops. I love the episode where they pull a couple over and the driver says "I'm giving this lady a ride down here" as he points towards a dumpster at the end of a dead end alley. I also find it hilarious when the john is clueless that the hooker they picked up is in reality a MAN. Most of those drag queen hookers look like Barbara Eden so when you see a hooker than looks like Barbara Eden, you should know that it is either HER or she has a penis and I'm sure that Miss Eden does not need to give BJ's for cash. Another tip off is the fact that most hookers aren't exactly supermodel clean, it's always nice to start off with two questions or combine them..."Are you a cop or a man?"

Cops also seem to come across an abundance of co-dependent women that are unconditionally attached to their husband/boyfriend. They always talk big when the cops show up and scream things like "That's it! Yur goin' to GEL"...gotta love a southern accent....This is unless you're watching a black woman and then it's all like "Ima bus yo ass and poop on your porch!" before she gets a few shots into their crackhead looking boyfriend and the cops are all like "OK, you have a good night." They go back to the white woman twenty minutes after the cops arrive and her man is handcuffed and stuffed in the backseat of a cruiser and she's all like "No, I don wanna press charges, don't take him to gel, I luvuM" as she wipes her bloody and snotty nose with her greasy hair.

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